Regret
by Ficchii
Summary: I want her, I've always loved her, I wanted to kiss her, but I know I can't. I know she doesn't feel the same.


**-Regrets-**

**Bleach ****© Tite Kubo**

**A/N: This is my first English fic:-). I hope you like it. It's Ichigo's POV by the way. It's some sort of his diary or something:-|. And warning here, there are maybe some typos and angst. I dunno what happen to me DX.**

-;-

10th Grade

Just like usual in junior high, she came to me. And asked me where's my class. Our friendship didn't changed even when we're in high school right now. Friendship, yes, only friendship. No matter how much I want her, I just can't be with her. There's no way she love me the way I love her. I don't want to take the risk and destroy our friendship.

Her black hair is as smooth as silk, even more smooth than the silk itself. Her white skin always shines bright. Everything about her is just so perfect. Everything about Rukia Kuchiki is just so perfect…

I'm in the same class with her, she decided to sit beside me. I couldn't help it, I can't concentrate when she's with me, I can't stop staring at her with amazement. I want her to be mine. I want her so bad.

Once the class was dismissed, I step outside with Rukia, she said that she don't understand what the teacher was talking about before and ask me to teach her today in my house. I couldn't decline her request, and so I say yes. She smiled and kissed my cheek with her super soft lips. I want to tell her, I want to tell her that I don't want to be just best friends. I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

11th Grade

I hear my phone rang from my pocket. It was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broken her heart. It ache me to hear her like this. If only she knew, that I love her and I will never ever broke her heart like that bastard did to her.

She asked me to come over to her house, she said she doesn't want to be alone. And so I did, I ran to her house which is doesn't too far away from mine. Five minutes later, I arrived.

I knocked the door, and the door's open. Right there, her brother is standing in front of me. He asked to me if I could make her cheer up, I nodded to him and go upstairs, to her room.

I knocked the door, and open it slowly after I heard her voice said "open". It hurts me to saw her like this. She was sitting on her bed with red eyes of too much crying, wet pillows of her tears, and pale face. I sat near her, and asked what happen.

"i.. It's him… Renji… he cheated on me and broke me up… I, Ichigo, i- I just don't know what to do now. i…." she said.

I hugged her, saying all of the things is going to be alright. I patted her head in a comforting way. She hugged me back and thank me dozens of time until she finally let go.

She kissed my cheek, and say that she's okay right now. I stared at her, I want her to be mine, I want her to be more than just my best friend. I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Senior Year

It's senior year, the day before prom night. I'm sitting alone in my bedroom as I look up to the night sky from the window. Rukia already have a date to go with her at prom while I don't. I only want to be with her, while she doesn't want me the way I want her. I probably will never go to the senior prom, not without a date.

I continue to gaze at the sky, before I heard a knock on the door. I said come in, and it a little bit surprised me when I see Rukia standing there. She was so beautiful, I want her so damn bad.

"Ichigo… my date is sick, he's not going to go well, not this soon. I don't have a date." She said.

I don't have a date too. And we've made a promise when we're still in seventh grade that we will go to prom together if neither of us had dates, we would go together as just bestfriends. No matter how much I wanted to go as dates, I just couldn't confess it to her and ruin our friendship. I can't.

So we did go together to prom. We danced and laugh together. We have a lot of fun. After everything was over, I brought her into her house. I was standing on the front of her door. She smiled very softly to me.

"Thank you Ichigo, for the awesome and unforgettable night." She said.

I nodded and say it was nothing. She smiled again and kissed my cheek. I still want to tell her how I feel, I want to be more than just best friend. I want to be a part of her life that will always be there. But I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Graduation Day

A day passed, than a week, than a month. Before I could blink it was my graduation day. I watched as as Rukia's perfect body floated like an angel on stage to get her diploma.

I wanted her to be mine, I still wanted it, but she doesn't notice me like that, and I knew it.

Before everybody went home, she came to me in her smock and hat. She come to me and cry as I hugged her. Than she lifted her head and said "You're my best friend, thanks for everything.

I simply nodded and caress her hair in a comforting way. I don't want to lose her, I want her to be mine, I want to confess but I'm just too shy. And I don't know why.

A few years later

Right now, I'm sitting on the pew of the church. Rukia is getting married, with a guy named Kaien Shiba. With him, not with me. No matter I want her so much, I still can't get her, even until now, he belong to someone else. I can't believe how coward I am… coward.

My heart become more aching when I heard her say "I do" in a very happy way. Yes, I wish her to be happy, but not with someone that's not me. i… almost cried, but I need to be happy. Rukia is happy, so I should be happy for her too.

Before she drove away, she came to me and chirped happily and screamed "You came! I know you would! Thanks!" as she kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I lover her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Funeral

Years have passed. I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "Best Friend". At the service, they read a diary entry Rukia had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read:

"I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know I don't want to be just friends. I love him but I'm just too shy. And I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he love me!"

After that words were spoken, my eyes feel heavy. I mumbled "I wish I did too…Forgive me Rukia… I'm terribly sorry…" and tears fell down my face.

I will never love anybody else except you, Rukia. I love you with all of my heart, even if I can't have you, I will always love you. Forgive me for everything. If you could hear me up there in the heaven, I wish you your happiness that you deserve.

Even if we're separated by two different world, two different life, I will always love you, I will always be there for you. I will never disappointed you again.

**~OWARI~**

**A/N: HOW'S THAT? Reviews are totally needed. I'm sorry if it's a total failed, it's my first English fic after all. and I can't believe I finally updated a story. I haven't updated my fics for so long and it feels weird to upload a new one:-\**


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